Archive for January, 2018

I’m linking to this page my friend made at the bottom, click now, or feel free to read the post of what its about:


It’s been a while since I’ve posted a personal blog, since things have been more about keeping in touch and I rarely have time to feel inspired enough to write. But two weeks ago I went to visit a friend and she shared a testimony with me about how she ‘does it’. This woman is amazing. She has eight children, with the ninth on the way and she is not even yet 40. Many people including myself have wondered, ‘how does she do it’. The reason we ask is not just her large family, but the grace, joy, patience, and peace she is able to present to her family and those she encounters.

What I have come to realize and what her story clarified for me is that this can be truely said of every mother no mater how many children and no matter what place she calls her home. It’s not something that comes especially from within herself that is to be coveted. It is rather someONE living inside her, providing these virtues. And she is only able to portray them because she dies to herself each morning of every day. And even of that she cannot take credit, for it’s Jesus who gives her the strength to let go and die.

She came to a breaking point when she had only five little ones. She was at the point where she wanted to literally give up, that her family would be better off without her. She was already a Christian, but found that she was depressed, quick tempered and exhausted. She then had an experience with God where she laid it all in his hands. He showed her that it didn’t need to be this way anymore. He wanted her to have more in life and to be more for her family.

What stood out for me in her story is that we can give ourselves to God, but it doesn’t end there. When we choose to be baptized by immersion, we are symbolically dying to self as we are buried in a grave of water, only to come up again with new life in us provided by Jesus. But self is tricky because it doesn’t want to die… This is sinful nature. Self tends to try and hold it’s breath, rather than drowning. This is why each day must start with an intentional death to self. We can do all the right things, and believe all the right doctrines, but if our hearts are not dead, with Jesus’ heart beating in it’s stead, it’s all for nothing. It is His blood and life that will give the power to be patient with our little ones, to be joyful when we don’t feel like it, to be loving when we are tired, and to keep going when life is demanding. He keeps our temper in check and provides us with self control and peace. If that is what you want in your home, in your motherhood, all it takes is a willing prayer to die to self each morning and faith that he will do it, even when we have failed to fully surrender in the past.

I have made a new point to do this in my own life and I have found a miraculous change. I still can’t understand how it works, how to be a dead mummy. But I believe in it and in God’s promise. I have been trying to tell the Lord each morning that’s what I want, and for Him to take the lead more fully. I still feel the same when I’m finished, but as I trust that he’s heard me, I do sense a change somehow. Its easier to see myself from the view of my children, rather from inside my selfish heart. And that makes it possible to be, through God’s power, more cheerful, less irritated and more nurturing even when tired.

My beautiful friend has set up a blog website to share her journals and reflections because God has led her to share her experience. It is her hope that other mothers can become dead mommies. Please have a look and share with anyone who needs to die to self.


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Blue eyed smiles

Girl is 11 weeks old today. Man, how time flies! She’s smiling quite a lot now and starting to gurgle and coo… Boy just barely started laughing at this age, so I’m hoping Girl will too, especially while family is visiting. Girl’s eyes are turning out to be a vibrant cornflower blue. She is sleeping through the night now, which is brilliant! I’ve tried a much different approach with her schedule and it’s turning out very manageable. Boy was still waking to feed at 11 months when I night weaned him.

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We’ve been very busy working on our bus!

I have finished the curtains and put foam on the seats. Darren has finished making our bed and the table which converts to a bed. He also installed the oven and stove. My Aunt, Uncle and cousin are coming to visit from America in about 10 days and we will be taking our bus around to some nice places to show them New Zealand. We are very excited! All we need to do next is tidy up a bit and fill the pantry with dishes and food. Can’t wait to share our experience with some photos in a few weeks!

The last photo is of Boy playing in the stuffing I’m putting in the couch.

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Summer activities so far

We’ve been enjoying the nice weather here. It went from super wet in the spring to suddenly super hot and dry. Trying to stay cool by spending time in the water, and having a lot of picncs with friends.

Boy had a haircut and has been playing with his cousins a lot. He loves the baby chickens that are growing up now and he is still in love with his sister Girl. His latest hobbies have been digging in dirt, playing with playdough, riding his balance bike and and drawing in his colouring book of diggers and trucks.

Girl has been growing heaps, but I’ll post more about that later. We didn’t plant a garden this year since we thought we had enough on our plate already. Hope everyone is surviving the winter up north.

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