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I’m linking to this page my friend made at the bottom, click now, or feel free to read the post of what its about:

http://mamcdee.simplesite.com

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a personal blog, since things have been more about keeping in touch and I rarely have time to feel inspired enough to write. But two weeks ago I went to visit a friend and she shared a testimony with me about how she ‘does it’. This woman is amazing. She has eight children, with the ninth on the way and she is not even yet 40. Many people including myself have wondered, ‘how does she do it’. The reason we ask is not just her large family, but the grace, joy, patience, and peace she is able to present to her family and those she encounters.

What I have come to realize and what her story clarified for me is that this can be truely said of every mother no mater how many children and no matter what place she calls her home. It’s not something that comes especially from within herself that is to be coveted. It is rather someONE living inside her, providing these virtues. And she is only able to portray them because she dies to herself each morning of every day. And even of that she cannot take credit, for it’s Jesus who gives her the strength to let go and die.

She came to a breaking point when she had only five little ones. She was at the point where she wanted to literally give up, that her family would be better off without her. She was already a Christian, but found that she was depressed, quick tempered and exhausted. She then had an experience with God where she laid it all in his hands. He showed her that it didn’t need to be this way anymore. He wanted her to have more in life and to be more for her family.

What stood out for me in her story is that we can give ourselves to God, but it doesn’t end there. When we choose to be baptized by immersion, we are symbolically dying to self as we are buried in a grave of water, only to come up again with new life in us provided by Jesus. But self is tricky because it doesn’t want to die… This is sinful nature. Self tends to try and hold it’s breath, rather than drowning. This is why each day must start with an intentional death to self. We can do all the right things, and believe all the right doctrines, but if our hearts are not dead, with Jesus’ heart beating in it’s stead, it’s all for nothing. It is His blood and life that will give the power to be patient with our little ones, to be joyful when we don’t feel like it, to be loving when we are tired, and to keep going when life is demanding. He keeps our temper in check and provides us with self control and peace. If that is what you want in your home, in your motherhood, all it takes is a willing prayer to die to self each morning and faith that he will do it, even when we have failed to fully surrender in the past.

I have made a new point to do this in my own life and I have found a miraculous change. I still can’t understand how it works, how to be a dead mummy. But I believe in it and in God’s promise. I have been trying to tell the Lord each morning that’s what I want, and for Him to take the lead more fully. I still feel the same when I’m finished, but as I trust that he’s heard me, I do sense a change somehow. Its easier to see myself from the view of my children, rather from inside my selfish heart. And that makes it possible to be, through God’s power, more cheerful, less irritated and more nurturing even when tired.

My beautiful friend has set up a blog website to share her journals and reflections because God has led her to share her experience. It is her hope that other mothers can become dead mommies. Please have a look and share with anyone who needs to die to self.

http://mamcdee.simplesite.com

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Blue eyed smiles


Girl is 11 weeks old today. Man, how time flies! She’s smiling quite a lot now and starting to gurgle and coo… Boy just barely started laughing at this age, so I’m hoping Girl will too, especially while family is visiting. Girl’s eyes are turning out to be a vibrant cornflower blue. She is sleeping through the night now, which is brilliant! I’ve tried a much different approach with her schedule and it’s turning out very manageable. Boy was still waking to feed at 11 months when I night weaned him.


We’ve been very busy working on our bus!

I have finished the curtains and put foam on the seats. Darren has finished making our bed and the table which converts to a bed. He also installed the oven and stove. My Aunt, Uncle and cousin are coming to visit from America in about 10 days and we will be taking our bus around to some nice places to show them New Zealand. We are very excited! All we need to do next is tidy up a bit and fill the pantry with dishes and food. Can’t wait to share our experience with some photos in a few weeks!

The last photo is of Boy playing in the stuffing I’m putting in the couch.


We’ve been enjoying the nice weather here. It went from super wet in the spring to suddenly super hot and dry. Trying to stay cool by spending time in the water, and having a lot of picncs with friends.

Boy had a haircut and has been playing with his cousins a lot. He loves the baby chickens that are growing up now and he is still in love with his sister Girl. His latest hobbies have been digging in dirt, playing with playdough, riding his balance bike and and drawing in his colouring book of diggers and trucks.

Girl has been growing heaps, but I’ll post more about that later. We didn’t plant a garden this year since we thought we had enough on our plate already. Hope everyone is surviving the winter up north.

Month one


Girl is four weeks old today. This marks the end of the newborn stage. As lovely as they are, I am glad to reach this mark. She’s starting to sleep longer at night and is closer to showing us some smiles and personality.

I am intrigued at how different she is to Boy. You really can’t compare babies as what they say is so true, they are all different. Girl spits up from time to time, something Boy never did. Once she lost her entire meal in my lap. I have to work harder to burp her so those air bubbles don’t send milk up or give her tummy pains.

I also didn’t realize how much I had forgotten from looking after Boy. It’s like I blocked out huge portions of memory since I was so sleep deprived last time. It’s been better this time since we are closer to family and they are happy to help but it’s still very hard.

Boy loves his sister. I’m happy he’s accepted her right away.

She really is quite a good baby. Sleeps well once asleep. She doesn’t cry a horrible amount. But, she does get bored quickly if you’re not walking or moving around with her.

We are doing well, taking one day at a time.

Baby Girl


We are proud to announce the arrival of our baby Girl! I went into labour at 3:30 am, Friday, 3 Nov. Girl was born at 8:10 am. 8 lb. 12 oz. She’s very healthy and beautiful. Looks very much like Boy did when he was born. I thankfully only tore a tiny bit this time and didn’t even need stitches. I’m back at home now and we are all doing well. Boy loves to hug his baby. What an exciting time of life.


We headed south mid August to visit some friends and family for about two weeks. Boy got to meet his second cousin and spend a couple days with him which was really neat. These boys are 5 months apart in age and I’m hoping they can grow up as friends. What is also cool is that his mum is having a baby girl a month or two after me, So when we go visit, our kids will have a same gendered playmate. Darren grew up knowing his cousins from their yearly trips down south and I hope we can keep that alive in this next generation.

We were kept quite busy while around Christchurch and then headed north to the Golden Bay for a week. Darren did some fishing with his uncle and cousin. He caught a shark we threw back and a couple flounder. Boy and I had some fun outside near the sea. I finished a sweater for Boy while there. I think it turned out well, but it won’t fit him very long. It’s also made from wool thats kind of hard to take care of…. Not sure I’ll do that again.

We also checked out a local Salmon fishery and caught four Salmon that we got filleted and some smoked. We’ve been enjoying it from our freezer occasionally now. Boy was a bit unsure of the flopping fish at first. He did quite like the goats wandering around though.

When we returned home we had a week free which Darren used to inatall seatbelts into our bus. Then we took our maiden voyage in it up to Rotorua for Darren’s Nana’s 90th birthday. It’s nowhere near finished but it was great to get to use it for the long weekend. Boy and I went mini golfing while the others went louging. The louge is like a gocart you ride down a hill made into a track. They didn’t let pregnant people do it, so we found our own fun. There were tame rabbits running around the golf course which was pretty cool. Since Boy was under two at the time, the lady let us go for free.

On the way home we got a flat tyre. Boy enjoyed helping daddy fix it.

Then, Boy turned two! We bought him a balance bike. He’s tried it a few times, but I think he’ll need some time to grow more confident to get zooming around on it. We asked him if he wanted to go sit on his bike and he literally went and sat on it. Haha…

We are now anxiously awaiting the arrival of our baby girl. She is due Nov 1 which is in 24 day. I wouldn’t mind if she showed up early as I’m quite fed up feeling pregnant at this point. But, better that she comes when she’s ready.

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